fourteen (t h e . r i d i c u l o u s . p a n d a)

mr. monkey pants, christmas day had us staring fourteen months of you in the face.

now that you are so completely your own person with strong wants, definite dislikes and a constant need for kisses, it is absolutely fantastic to hang out with you everyday. i found myself pinching myself more often this month than previous months. i cannot believe that it is my job to hang out with you every day. it is the best job i have ever had (and i never thought i would top the french baby boutique in westport) and i love waking up every morning to the knowledge that my day will be full of hanging out with you and if it's a really good day - you and sam.

you have taken me everywhere this month: the zoo, the winter market, the butterfly room, the conservatory, the aquarium, the nature village, mchenry, rolling down snowy hills, the neighbors, to meet santa claus, the laundromat, the bagel place, the botanic gardens. everywhere.

you are unflappable with the changes of location, you fall asleep on the journey and wake up vaguely psyched to be somewhere completely different. you adapt much better to change than i could ever anticipate.

but even with all these amusements at our fingertips, my favorite place to spend time with you is hands down, our home. when we're home you are totally chill. exploring all the nooks of our condo, wedging yourself into the spot between the couch and the bookshelf so you can sit and enjoy a book or a puzzle by yourself.

this month, you've truly developed an ability to entertain yourself, something i don't think i figured out how to do until i moved into my own apartment and started drinking. i listen to you playing, talking yourself through certain activities, making silly noises for your animal figures, zooming your cars around and our favorite: your anticipatory "ah, ah, ah, aaaaah!" exclamation for throwing balls, finger puppets or surprising yourself with the raccoon puppet.

and finally, i can say with confidence that your sleeping patterns have taken a turn for the better. i have begun dreaming regularly and your papa often doesn't bring you into bed until after 4am. this is a huge relief. i miss having you in bed when i fall asleep but i missed not being kicked in the neck while drifting off even more. and i think that you are more down with your crib than in the past, you ask to take naps and if you're deciding to abstain from resting one particular day you'll still play in your crib while i catch some shuteye. but i can't imagine not waking up with you in our bed. waking up slow on a saturday morning, the three of us. it's just so obviously what it's all about.

so thank you, silas lee. thank you for being down with the snow.

thank you for making it so incredibly fun and funny to live moment to moment.

thank you for rubbing your whole chest and belly when you are saying please. thank you for still being able to be completely calmed by the presentation of an apple. thank you for singing along with us in the car when we ask nicely. thank you for turning every object into either a telephone or a microphone.